Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Questions and Pictures

Yesterday I found pictures of Zuka that I hadn't seen before... it hit me so hard. I had a reaction I never experienced before. My body was shaking and I couldn't stop crying.... when that happens I'm brought back to the emotion of that night... I can't breathe. I called my daughter because I NEEDED to talk to someone who understands...someone who was there.

See pictures are amazing. Especially when they are all you have left... but when you lose someone even the good pictures hurt so damn bad.

My brain still plays tricks on me, like he's away at school...and I'll see him again... but when these things hit me I have to face the fact that he is gone....forever.... I can't fathom that. I can't wrap my head around the fact that the little boy who called me mommy is gone forever. How can that be?? Why did he go?
                                   I'm left with so many questions and pictures...

You're never alone. Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) if you are struggling emotionally or thinking about suicide

Please don't leave your loved ones with only Questions and Pictures

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